I admire his generosity.
I enjoy listening to his beautiful advices.
I like his speech, speaks, words & talks.
I appreciate his patience and hard works.
I adore his passion towards his full-time job.
I treasure his unique smile.
I admire the way he looks at the elders & children and how he welcomes their attendance.
Above all the feelings I have for him;
I just realized that, I do love him a lot. In fact in my nearly 23 years of life-time, this is our first photo together, just the two of us;
We don't have anything in common. We never travel together and have a long chit chat. I remember he once said to his friend;
"Dalam ramai-ramai anak, si Fairuz ni la paling tak manja"
Hehe. It is true indeed. I couldn't hug him spontaneously like what my other siblings always did, it's always him who starts the conversation, it's always him who starts hugging me. And then I would excitedly response.
The most thing I'm crazy about him is his generosity. And of course his kindness.
"Harta kita terbahagi kepada tiga. Makan kita, pakai kita iaitu keperluan kita & yang terakhir is kebajikkan. Kalau bukan kita habiskan untuk tiga perkara ini, rugilah kita."
He always wanted to be the upper hand, when he received more, he will certainly give more. His acts remind me of how generous Rasulullah and his companions. He might be the most generous man on earth I've found in front of my eyes.
I always be motivated by his supports, advices and financial of course, hehe.
"Ayah suka Eyush dan Eshah buat non-profitable activities macam pergi usrah, buat kerja-kerja kebajikkan sebab Ayah pun buat benda yang sama cuma cara kita berbeza."
And sometimes when I was clinging at home for too long, he would ask "Hai, tak pergi usrah ke?", hihi.
For giving us freedom in doing something that can benefit others, he is very considerate even when I didn't really spent my time with the family.
Here's a story that made us close: At the end of last year, I had a 3-long-days argumentation with him. It was because of a very tiny little trouble I had. I assumed he didn't understand what I'd been through, what was my condition about.
How could he possibly, lowered down his ego as a man and of course as a dad when I was embrace to my egoism tightly, he came and hug me closely. I could see the tears in his eyes and he said;
"Manusia datang dan pergi dalam hidup kita. Kalau ada, ada la, kalau takde, takpe la. Nak buat macam mana kan? Eyush kena ingat yang dalam hidup Eyush, Eyush tak mampu mengubah dunia tapi Eyush mampu memberikan yang terbaik untuk adik-adik, sepupu-sepupu yang berharap pada Eyush. Ayah bukan ada selama-lamanya.
Buat masa sekarang, focus on your degree. Ace it. Kelak, Eyush boleh sumbang pada orang yang memerlukan. Kan Allah kata "Hablum Minallah, Hablum Minnannas."
There's lots more. Lots, lots more. At that time, I hugged him. As tight as I can. I shouldn't have done that to him, I begged for his forgiveness and he forgave me at ease. Because he always say;
"Ingatlah, apa-apa yang korang buat, kasih sayang Ayah mengatasi segalanya".
Tonight, I cried again in my after-Isya' du'a, pray hard to Allah to take care of him, because I miss him a lot, like a lottt!
Listening to him, now becoming my favorite hobby. Observing at how workaholic he is, is one of my enthusiasms. And be all ears to his words & advices to us and his friends is a knowledge of life.
One definite day, I want to follow what he did to his mom, his dad and his family. I want to be generous like him. I want to be like him. Exactly like him whether I knew it is possible but I'll try hard.
And one day, insyaAllah I want to be like what my sister said;
"I wish me and my husband could educate our children like what you've done to us, Ayah"
Though I repeatedly say "Terima kasih Ayah", it wouldn't be enough.
Nothing can pay his absolute efforts together with pure pain to make sure we have a better life. Thus, the very least that I can do now, then and forever insyaAllah is to keep praying for him, is to keep begging to Allah SWT to always forgive him and give him happiness and joys in dunya and akhirah. Ameen.
To make a big happy family like this, put smiles in our face, again "TERIMA KASIH, AYAH!"
Ayah, you are the greatest gift from Allah SWT to us. I admire and love you Ayah. A lot! Eternally insyaAllah :)